The Diary of Ratchet
by Black and Yellow Bumble
Summary: Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of the Autbots' grumpy CMO? Well, here is the best view of Ratchet's thoughts of all the crazy things that happen on and off of the NEST base! WHOOP! :D Rating is for some slight language. P:


_**Oh dear Primus, I have been given a most wonderus idea and I must type it before it escapes my void of a mind! Haha! So I won't waste time with a long Author's Note because this story explains itself! Enjoy! :D**_

_**(Plain italicized letters means Ratchet is speaking into the diary recorder thingy. :3)**_

_**ONTO THE STORY!**_

* * *

_Primus, is this damned thing even working? Why is there a flashing red dot on the side? Is this a bomb? Oh, Primus, I'm losing it in my old age, but I guess that happens to all older mechs eventually. Well, I guess the whole point of this digital diary is so that Optimus can keep track of the numerous complaints I have, I think, I'm not entirely sure. Damn, where is my wrench, oh right, that's what I got onto this stupid little box for in the first place, to record what happened earlier today when Sunstreaker thought I would be hilarious to glue my wrench to the high ceilings of the med bay. Well I'm just simply laughing on the inside you stupid WHELP!_

* * *

_**FLASHBACK!**_

* * *

Ratchet's optics scan slowly over Ironhide's cannons, apparently the upgrades the medic did was not enough to satisfy the weapon savvy mech. _Primus, that mech is going to be the death of me with these upgrades. _

After several minutes of simply looking over the two weapons, Ratchet's audios picked up the faint sounds of snickering coming from behind him, but he thought nothing of it and continued his work until the sound died off and he reaches out for his wrench. _I still can't believe I didn't look behind me, how foolish._

"WHERE IN THE PIT IS MY WRENCH?!" Ratchet growls. "IT WAS RIGHT HERE!"_ If you look above you, past self, you will see it super glued to the damn CEILING! _

"I am going to SLAG whoever did this!" Ratchet growls lowly to himself and storms out of the med bay. _You do slag someone, it was quite wonderful if I do say so myself. _

"PRIME!" Ratchet calls from the outside of the med bay. "OPTIMUS PRIME, I REQUEST YOUR ASSISTANCE!"

"What is it, Ratchet?" Optimus looks over his shoulder from watching Bumblebee train with the humans and immediately senses the medic's fury.

"I would like to have permission to, just once, KILL a fellow Autobot!" _I sounded like a Decepticon, I guess that was acceptable due to the circumstances that caused my anger._

Optimus sighs and turns his attention fully to Ratchet. "What happened now?"

"What happened was SOMEONE stole my wrench!" Ratchet hisses._ In actuality, no one really stole it, it was just stuck to the ceiling, and it still is. Damn you Sunstreaker!_

"What do you mean by stole?" Optimus says slowly. _What did I mean by stole! Prime, you can be such an idiot sometimes._

"I mean that my wrench is no longer in MY possession!" Ratchet says harshly. _DUH! Primus, someone just shoot me please!_

"Obviously." Optimus says carefully, hoping to avoid the CMO's wrath. "Who do you think stole it?"

"I have an idea."

* * *

_**IN THE GAME ROOM!**_

* * *

"YOU CHEATED YOU SCRAP!"

"HOW CAN I CHEAT? I'M NOT EVEN PLAYING!"

"What are you two fussing about now?" Prowl looks up from writing a report and eyes the fussing twins.

"SUNSTREAKER CAUSE ME TO LOOSE!" Sideswipe shouts, shoving his Xbox controller in his golden twin's optics.

"HOW?! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CONTROLLER!" Sunstreaker shouts in protest. "I DON'T EVEN UNDERTSAND HOW YOU CAN HOLD THAT SMALL THING!"

Sideswipe inspects the small controller and shrugs. "That, my brother, takes skill."

Sunstreaker rolls his optics and looks back at Prowl, who has been observing them both. "Something wring, Prowlie?"

Prowl shakes his helm. "Nothing, although, what was the last prank you pulled recently?"

"Oh," Sunstreaker snickers delightedly. "I glued Ratchet's wrench to the ceiling of the med bay."

"AH HAH, I knew it had something to do with you two!" Ratchet shouts from the entrance to the game room. _I still can't figure out why Prowl was in the game room of all places._

Sunny's expression drops and all the color in his faceplate disappears. "Slag…"

Sideswipe, on the other hand, is over on the other side of the couch laughing his aft off. "I TOLD YOU HE WOULD FIGURE IT OUT!"

Sunny gives his laughing mess of a brother the coldest glare he could muster in his fears and turns to face the very angry CMO. "Uh, surprise?"

"Oh, I'm surprised alright, surprised that you're still online now that I've found you!" Ratchet growls with the evilest smile etched across his faceplate. _Oooh, this is about to get messy! Heh heh! _

* * *

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT!**_

* * *

_Ugh, now how do you turn this stupid thing off? What is it that possessed Prime to think that I could handle doing this? I guess I'll never know, wait, I think I found the off butto-_

* * *

_**WELL, there you have it! HAHA! Hope you guys enjoyed this first marvelous chapter of The Diary of Ratchet! Haha! This was a quite demented idea I came up with and it gets even better further on! :D Haha! So until then, BYEEEEEEEEEEEE! **_


End file.
